


Eccedentesiast

by CreateOwnHell



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Blood, Death and Dying, Emotional Baggage, Flowers, Hints of Hyungwonho, M/M, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other relationships might be added, Slow Build, Tags May Change, Thriller?, Torture, catch me outside changkyun might survive this, contradictions, crime?, horror?, hyunwoo is from a powerful broken family, kihyun is an assassin, kihyun is pretty freaking broken and insane, mind games?, or may not, the focuses in chapters differ, unhealthy?, what else to tag this as?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-07 20:24:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11066463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreateOwnHell/pseuds/CreateOwnHell
Summary: [ An "Eccedentesiast" is the one who fakes a smile or represses his pain by stifling a smile. Or you could say a person who hides his feelings behind a smile. ]In a world, full of broken people, everyone is looking for someone whose pieces fit in between their cracks.Kihyun was a hired gun. Trained since birth, stripped from basic emotions.Hyunwoo was nothing but a simple man, born into a powerful but broken family.Emotions were a baggage, and both needed someone to help them carry it.





	1. Chapter 1

‘’What’s your name?’’

‘’What’s it to you?’’ The guy spat out blood from Kihyun’s punch. He knew exactly where it hurts the most, where it will do the most damage with almost little to no effort.

‘’I am a nice person. I thought I’d make a pretty little grave with your name on it after I kill you of course. Put some flowers here and there, make it look like someone gave a shit about you.’’ Kihyun smirked, the knife’s sharp end swirling in his palm. If he applied a little bit more strength to it, he’d break his skin and draw out blood. Tempting.

Kihyun loved watching blood drip, whether it’s from his own body or someone else. There was just something about seeing warm blood flow, a little bit of life leaving the body, a little bit of soul just floating away. It made him feel like a god, having so much control over someone’s pathetic life.

He stopped playing around with the sharp object to give his attention to the man in question. He looked awful, his clothes were torn, and you could see the blood stains from the beatings on his clothes.

‘’Tell me where’s Son Hyunwoo, and I’ll stop torturing you.’’ Kihyun got closer to the man on the ground, breathing in his scent, before spitting into his face. ‘’Don’t you want to get back to your pathetic life?’’ Kihyun pulled away, disgust written all over his face.

How dare this guy treat him like dirt. Granted it’s not like he was treating him like royalty. He was too proud, too self-obsessed for that.

He stood up, straightening his jacket and wiping his hands against the ripped jeans. If you looked close enough you’d notice scars on his legs. Some looked fresh and in need of treatment, some were big and white scars, a clear sign that these were not cleaned and taken care of to let them heal. But mostly there were a lot of small and fading ones.

‘’Fucking gross.’’ Kihyun said before kicking the guy in the stomach with a brutal force. The guy clutched his stomach, letting out cries of pain. If Kihyun gave a fuck, he’d feel bad, because the way the man screamed would make anyone with a heart feel sorry.

It’s a great thing he doesn’t. if he did, he wouldn’t be doing this. And he would have been disposed of long time ago.

‘’I’ll get you to talk one way or another.’’ Kihyun grinned, getting an idea on exactly how. He went around shuffling in the guy’s apartment looking for something, before coming back, holding his hand behind his back, hiding whatever it is he found. And you could tell from the glint in Kihyun’s eyes, that the guy was batshit insane.

The guy on the ground finally mumbled out something, but Kihyun couldn’t understand. He rolled is eyes so far, that the only thing the guy saw was the whites.

‘’Hm? What? It better be the location or else…’’ Kihyun finally exposed what he was hiding, by slowly moving his hands. It was a flame torch.

He turned the flame torch on and gazed into it for a while, mesmerized by the way it moved with such a strong flow. The area around the fire melted the view what reminded him of an oasis from one of his missions during summer when the heat was unbearable and everything looked surreal by the reflections of the sun on the ground.

He approached the guy and waved it in front of him.  

‘’I’m honestly getting pretty tired of repeating myself. I mean how many times do I need to say the same thing over and over and over again.’’ Kihyun scrunched his nose and turned off the torch. ‘’Look at me, just repeated the words OVER AND OVER AGAIN.’’ His voice getting louder by the end of the sentence, making the other one flinch by the sudden loud voice.

‘’What’s your name?’’ Kihyun stepped on the guy’s hand with his combat boot heel. If anyone would listen carefully, they’d hear the bones crack. The man let out a screeching sound, tears prickling in his eyes, but not letting them fall. There was still a little bit of fight left in him after all. With what the beating and threatening and pleading he had to endure.

No matter how many times he tells Kihyun that he doesn’t know anything, Kihyun just doesn’t believe him.

‘’Lame.’’ Kihyun ran his hand through the pink hair that was already starting to stick to his forehead from the sweat. I mean torturing is pretty exhausting.

‘’Aah my good looks are ruined.’’ He looked into the reflection from the metal he saw in front of him. ‘’I mean the sweat? It’s gross, and my cheeks are red. You are ruining my handsome face.’’ Kihyun let out a sigh of disapproval.

‘’I keep on talking but I hear nothing back. I ask you things, I expect answers, obviously. Isn’t this how people make friends?’’ Kihyun was styling his hair in concentration, when he was satisfied with how he looked once again, he looked at the _victim_ of his.

‘’We can be here all day and night. I have nowhere to be to if I am honest.’’ He faked looking a little bit of sad about not having plans. ‘’Ah look I’m already trusting you. How about you do the fucking same.’’

He turned on the torch again, going closer and closer to the guy’s face. His eyes were wide open and the grin was very evident. If you asked the dying man what it looked like, he’d say it was like something from hell, something you see in horror movies, something from your worst nightmares. After all, Kihyun was this guy’s biggest nightmare.

And if you asked the guy if he was religious, he’d say he wasn’t until now. Kihyun is worse than anything he could imagine and more.

‘’Hoseok. I don’t know where Son Hyunwoo is.’’ The guy finally broke when he felt the heat on his face getting warmer and warmer. He realized, he had nothing to lose, nothing to gain. If he dies, it’s a whatever. And if he lives, the shit he has been through was a guaranteed PTSD and he’d end his own life sooner rather than later.

‘’Now was that so hard, Hoseok?’’ He turned the torch off and threw it into the corner. After confirming that the guy really doesn’t have the answer.

Honestly, Kihyun knew from the beginning that Hoseok doesn’t know jack squat. But my god, Kihyun was fucking bored. This is the most fun he has had in weeks.

The relief flashed on Hoseok’s face. Maybe he gets to live. At what cost though?

Except life is not that easy and Kihyun never leaves anyone alive. Leave no witnesses was part of the training regime. Engraved deeply into every aspect of who he is and what he does.

Hoseok had no time to react before there was the sound of neck being snapped in half, Hoseok’s lifeless body hit the cold hard ground.

Kihyun wiped his hands clean into the white handkerchief, the blood was almost screaming on the fabric.

‘’Fucking useless.’’ He said to no one particular.

He glared at the blood, a sense of relief and power waved over him for a second, before scoffing and putting the handkerchief into his pocket.

Getting rid of the body was the least fun part about his job. Everything else up to this point is exhilarating and amusing, until the abrupt end comes.

He put the body in the bag and dragged it away, leaving a bloody rail behind him. He did say he was going to give him a pretty grave. He dumped the body into the trunk and drove away from the abandoned warehouse after cleaning the most obvious signs of the crime.

It’s not like anyone comes here anyways. Hoseok wasn’t his first person he killed here, and he certainly won’t be the last one.

He made a quick stop by the flower shop. Before he stepped out of his car he looked into the rearview mirror, figuring out what kind of a smile he needs to put on.

Friendly and kind. Like always. Accompanied with soulless dead eyes.

 

‘’Hello.’’ A younger looking woman at the counter said when Kihyun stepped in.

‘’Hello. Wow this place is beautiful.’’ Was the first thing Kihyun said after he looked around the place. ‘’And so are you.’’ He smiled as he looked straight into the woman’s eyes.

This made her blush. ‘’How can I help you?’’ She asked shyly.

Kihyun can read everyone like they are an open book, and this girl was obviously liking his good looks. He knows when people find him attractive, and he loves it.

‘’Well,’’ Kihyun looked at the nametag, ‘’Luda, I would like 8 carnations. Yellow ones.’’

The lady’s face fell for a second, but put the smile back on her face. It’s none of her business in the first place. Kihyun was glad that she didn’t ask. He wasn’t in the mood for much talking, and the girl was boring. He could tell from the everything she was. Kinda cute, but boring.

In another life in some other version of him, he would have maybe asked for her number.

‘’Here you go.’’ Luda handed the bouquet to Kihyun. He put a random amount of money on the counter, more than the flowers were worth. ‘’Thanks. Bye.’’ He hurried out.

He put the flowers on the seat next to him and drove away.

Turning on the radio to kill the silence. He hates the silence. That is the only time he feels lonely. His job doesn’t allow partners, or close relationships.

But he is fine, he is fine when there is no silence.

Kihyun drove and drove on the main road, until he turned off it, on a mysterious side road that lead into the woods.

It was a bumpy ride, but he eventually arrived to the place. Or Home.

There was a tiny house, on the verge of collapsing next to a small river flow.

He called it Home because he doesn’t know what home means, he figured it’s a place you live in. So this place is his home. And he is fine with it like he is fine with the silence.

Except he is not, but he can’t afford to dwell too much on these insignificant facts.

Kihyun took the flowers from the seat and the body from the trunk, dumping the body on the ground harshly to get the shovel that was lying on the flowerbed filled with wilted roses.

He started walking the opposite direction of the river, dragging the grown man’s body after him. Cursing and talking under his breath the entire time. Not overly fond of the silence.

The branches on the ground breaking under his footsteps, the sound of the river, some birds singing in the distance was not enough to fill the deadly silence he felt in his heart. Or the ache he ignored.

He can’t afford feelings. Not with who he is and what he has done to get here.

 

It was getting dark as well, the cold light of the moon guiding his way. But Kihyun has walked this route so many times, he can get to the destination with all his senses blocked. The road, the area so installed into his muscle memory.

He finally reached his destination and let the dead weight fall. He was cracking his back, carrying a body is never an easy job.

The area was kind of empty, on the first glance nothing stood out. But there were piles of rocks in random places if anyone but Kihyun looked at it.

He has a system. Everything in its place and a place for everything you could say.

Kihyun got his shovel and started digging next to one of the rock piles that had plenty of empty space.

It took him over an hour for a passable grave looking hole. Big enough for Hoseok’s body, and deep enough so it won’t be exposed by the first rain.

He went back to  get the body in the bag. Searched through his pockets for belongings. The blood was half dried and the stains no longer looked pretty to Kihyun’s eyes.

This is another thing he hates. He likes his blood warm and moving. Drying damp cold blood is gross.

There was a wallet in one of the pockets. As he was inspecting it, a picture fell on the ground. He almost didn’t notice. Almost. Except he does.

Mistakes are not allowed. Was the second rule he heard everyday as he grew up.

Kihyun picked it up. It was a picture of Hoseok with his hand around a some guy’s shoulders, both of them smiling.

A family member? A friend? A lover?

‘’Hmph…’’ Kihyun scoffed, and crumbled the picture in his hand; walking back to Hoseok’s body and rolling it into the hole. He doesn’t really care who it was.

Except he does.

He tore the picture into half between Hoseok and the boy, and let the pieces fall like fresh snow in to the grave.

‘’You brought this onto yourself you know,’’ he shoveled dirt in to the grave, ‘’if you had just give me the info the first time I asked.’’

The moonlight reflected off the river, and the forest around was illuminated.

A lonely dark shadow of a man shoveling dirt into the hole, hiding every evidence of his doings, hiding his emotions into yet another grave.

 _A graveyard of emotions._ Kihyun sometimes liked to joke, thinking it was clever. Except he had no one to share this with.

After he filled the hole and built a gravestone from the rocks he got from the riverside he sat down near his work.

‘’See, I said I’d make you a nice looking grave. I keep my promises.’’ He put the bouquet on the head of the grave and wrote Shin Hoseok’s name on one of the bigger rocks, almost like he did calligraphy, except it wasn’t as clean and flowy, but shaky and ugly.

He sighed loudly when he finished it.

A plastic smile was stuck on his face and looked up to the moon as if it was judging him. And maybe it was. And maybe he was judging himself as well.

He wasn’t even aware there were tears running down his face, not until he felt his eyes starting to sting and the view was getting blurry, did he wipe his tears.

‘’Ew gross.’’ He complained, voice harsh and cold, void of emotion.

He got up and walked along the riverside, back to the house. His steps were much lighter than before, only because there was no weight he had to carry, except the one in his heart.

Except he would deny this.

He looked back one last time to the grave, where the yellow carnations were almost glowing under the moon light.

 

When he got back, he went inside the Home. The inside of the house looked much nicer than the outside. Probably to throw off people, should anyone ever wonder into these parts. But no one has never gotten to these parts.

The isolation from the rest of the society was screaming in his face everywhere he looked.

And he’d care, if he could.

Except he didn’t.

Kihyun pulled out his small journal from a drawer. He sometimes wrote down place names and details he needed to know. There was one page with five names. He reached for the pen on the bedside table and scratched out one of the names.

 

_~~Shin Hoseok~~ _

_Lee Minhyuk_

_Chae Hyungwon_

_Lee Jooheon_

_Lim Changkyun_

_Target: Son Hyunwoo_

 

Right after that his phone rang, there was a message from an unknown number with the next location. He scribbled that down into the journal, closed it and threw it on the table.

But the thing is, he doesn’t need to write things down, he remembers everything, down to the last detail. He does this, to feel a little bit more like human, person with a life that wasn’t this.

And he’d never admit this, but he hates who he is.

 

Tomorrow he needs to buy brown hair dye and get new lenses. But for now, a shower and a sleep is a must.

 

And if you asked him, would he stop living like this.

He’d say no.

Maybe.

Yes.

Definitely.

 

But he has no choice.

He never did.

 

And he would cry, except he won’t, because feelings are a weakness.

You have to smile.

You have to smile.

You have to smile.

Because as long as you smile, no one asks questions they really don’t want an answer to.

_Just smile._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> insight to Hyunwoo's life.

‘’Mother?’’ Hyunwoo’s voice was very near to a whisper. Barely audible to anyone who wasn’t paying attention. On any other day, it would have been misheard. Gone into the void.

‘’What do you want now?’’ a cold voice answered. ‘’I don’t have time. Make it quick.’’ It was always the same answer he got no matter what he asked or said. Her mother sounded like a broken record. Always harsh and full of bitterness when it came to Hyunwoo.

‘’Uh, yeah. I wanted…’’ Hyunwoo tried to say but his talking was cut off. It was always cut off. There has been a total zero times when he had a chance to finish what he was saying.

‘’Speak faster, I don’t have a whole day.’’ She was agitated. Always when it comes to him as if the mere presence of Hyunwoo was pissing her off. Hyunwoo just made her go over the edge.

And Hyunwoo just stood there, silent. Talking to her mother was always so, so exhausting. He tried to avoid talking to her or his father as much as possible. But sometimes he had no other choice. Sometimes he had to swallow his emotions and walk up to them. Sometimes that was the only thing he had left to do.

 

The saddest thing Hyunwoo learned, from an early age, that the reason for his existence is being a face. To keep the image of Son family. Nothing else, nothing more. A puppet if you will. He was supposed to move when his parents moved the strings. He was never supposed to open his mouth, never supposed to look at them. Any and all communication was never supposed to exist between him and his parents.

He wasn’t born because his parents wanted kids. God his parents hate him. But then again, they hate everyone, his mother and father are awful people, not that makes Hyunwoo’s heart ache less. But aren’t you supposed to love your kids? Out of all the people in the world, a parent is supposed to love their child.

But they didn’t.

The fact that the only time he so as much has witnessed either his mother or father look his way, or dare he say, even give a weak smile was when they needed to show people around them that their life was perfect.

They have it all.

The perfect marriage, between the two of them completely happy. Which was not a lie actually. They really were happy. Hyunwoo’s parents do love each other unconditionally. But seems that that’s where all the love went. It seems to be almost unhealthy, maybe even toxic. Being obsessed with each other to the point of not seeing any one else as people, not worthy of their attention, respect, or human decency.

The Son family had money. Way too much of it, in fact, most of the time they didn’t even know what to do with it, except pretty much throw it around, because they can afford that. They can have the luxury of literally burning the money, that could be put to better use. Except other people’s lives were not their problem.

They had a child, a son at that. Don’t parents always want their first born to be a son? Isn’t that what parents secretly always hope for.

The Son family sure is perfect. A good example of what an ideal family life is apparently supposed to be like. At least in those circles, the well-off rich people. People who have enough power to influence over others.

Forget the fact that neither of his parents never even held him or touched him. So deprived of basic needs.

The number of different babysitters and caretakers Hyunwoo has had since the day he was born? Uncountable. They come and go so often, that there was never a point to even learn their names.

And because of that Hyunwoo never made any close connections to anyone. How are you supposed to do that when there was a new face every other 3 days replacing the previous person who he was never going to see again.

Friends? Acquaintances? Hyunwoo has never had that. And my god did it break his heart.

 

Yet despite all of that, if someone asked him how he was, he gave his softest smile that always made his eyes disappear. And that is the perfect cover, because you can tell so much by looking in to one’s eyes if it matches the smile or not.

But god bless Hyunwoo and his disappearing eye smiles. No one ever pierces through it. They find his smile endearing, cute, adorable, you name it.

And maybe it is, except Hyunwoo has never seen it, He doesn’t want to see it. He doesn’t want to see the fakeness, when he knows exactly what lies behind it. He doesn’t want to see the lies he gives to people. Hyunwoo doesn’t like lying to anyone, except that’s what he does all the time.

 

‘’Come here boy.’’ His father yelled for him.

That’s another thing his parents do.

They never call him by his name. Sometimes Hyunwoo forgets his own name because he rarely hears it.

His mother and father have always only referred to him as boy. Not even a son, but a boy. Because calling him anything but that, would indicate that there is some sort of closeness or dare he say, a bond between.

A luxury he can’t afford. The only thing he can’t afford, no matter how much money he would pay.

Maybe he shouldn’t actually complain, because he has it all. And by all, people mean money. Because people are always envious about anyone who has more money than them.

Hyunwoo would give away everything, if it meant that there is someone next to him who makes the sun feel warm on his skin. Someone who makes him feel something, like he is worth something.

But the world is cold.

And life is cruel.

And Hyunwoo’s soul is rotting on the inside.

 

But despite all that pain and misery, it only made him kind. He could have grown up being hateful and bitter, become a troublemaker. Spit back what was thrown at him, attack and defend himself. Yet he never did any of that. He was fine.

He was fine taking all the daggers thrown at him, if it meant that by some god damn miracle someone else was spared.

No matter how his parents treat him, Hyunwoo would still die for them, even when they hate him, despise him, would rather see him dead.

He would die for anyone to be honest.

Being a hero would be nice. Dying like a hero, even greater. Honestly he is ready to throw his life away any moment. It would be so easy to do that. Just one pill too much, just one cut too deep, just one second too slow.

Except he doesn’t.

The scars on his body are all fresh. The wounds in his heart never heal.

His smile is cracking, and his soul is crumbling. Every day he is less of who he was, he is losing bits and pieces of himself.

But he still fucking thinks that one day something will change. Can you really blame him for this?  Hope is such a beautiful thing to have. Something to hold onto, it makes one feel a bit more alive, a bit more, dare he say, human.

But even hope dies, when you keep poking at it.

Hyunwoo doesn’t feel anything, nothing but the cold sharp end of a blade running on his skin. If he applies enough strength, the skin would break. The blood would be free. And he could feel warmth on his skin. He could pretend it’s another human’s touch. Something he longs for.

Yet he never does that. The blade will only ever glide on the skin, as if Hyunwoo was writing a story on his body. But no one will ever get to read that. The story will always remain unwritten. Because the blade only touches the body, but never leaves a mark.

It’s not like he wants anyone to know his sob story anyways. He doesn’t fucking need pity parties thrown for him. It was too late for that now.

He doesn’t leave wounds on his body, because his parents made sure that there will always be scars.

 

Hyunwoo is a human canvas to his parents who love to leave tiny cuts all over his body like sick freaks. And they really are. Under all that perfect façade they have made, the one they have fooled everyone with, lie the two deeply disturbed individuals.

But Hyunwoo doesn’t mind.

Not when they smile while doing that. Even when it’s at his expense, when the laughter comes because he is screaming out in pain. They never smile for him. But Hyunwoo takes what he can get. Beggars can’t be choosers. And he can imagine that in other circumstances, things would be different. His parents would love him, he would have friends, he would be happy.

 

‘’By the way, boy, one of your bodyguards, Hoseok, is dead.’’ Hyunwoo’s mother put on her pearls and walked away, the sound of heels clicking against the tile floor which was echoing in the almost empty corridor, way too big for a ‘’family’’ of three people.

She called a guard by his name, but not her son.

And Hyunwoo stood there reminiscing.

He remembers him, Hoseok. He was one of the few guards who sometimes would give him just enough attention to him to make his day. And that was enough, more than Hyunwoo could ask for.

Hoseok smiled a lot when he talked to Hyunwoo.

And Hyunwoo really liked that smile. He recalls one time when Hoseok was happily telling him about his best friend Hyungwon.

How Hoseok ended up as a guard from some rich spoiled brat was a mystery to Hyunwoo. Because Hoseok’s personality suited a calmer, kinder job, a caretaker’s job. But In a way, that’s what he did for Hyunwoo, take care of him.

Hoseok saw behind it all.  He saw what was behind the curtains of the Son family. He vowed to protect this boy, because no one else would. But there was only so much he could do.

And in the end, he did, at the cost of his own life. However, _if he had known that one tiny detail_ , he would be still alive. Walking next to Hyungwon in the flower garden where they first met as kids. And Hoseok would give him a handful of forget-me-nots without saying anything, because Hyungwon is a flower shop owner and every owner knows the language of the flowers.

If he had known. If Hoseok just would have had less heart. He would be alive.

 

What Hyunwoo hates the most about receiving the news about Hoseok’s death is that, he feels almost nothing. Even with all these few fond memories about him, he is just stone cold.

He looked at the ugly brown floor, it reminded him of dirt, like the piles on fresh graves.

He was of course sad, or he thinks he was, but in a way u are sad about hearing of someone’s death you never met, where you go like _oh I’m sorry_.

Which is stupid, even he knows it.

But he just doesn’t feel anything.

 

‘’What the hell are you standing around here for?’’ His father hit him on the back of his head. ‘’Go be a fucking disgrace somewhere else.’’ The low voice said and walked out of the door like his mother earlier, closing the door with a loud bang.

And that’s exactly what he did.

He put on his shoes, and made a run for it, after making sure that mother and father had left the premises.

He has a small and cheap almost useless apartment in the poorest part of the city. Completely matches the way he sees himself and how he feels.

Lifeless and full of despair.

He sometimes goes there when the image he needs to hold gets too much. When everything gets too much.

There in that neighborhood, he is not Son Hyunwoo. In that place, Son Hyunwoo is dead. He introduced himself as Shownu to anyone who asked.

Because Shownu gets to feel like a human worth something. Because Shownu is friends with his neighbors.

And Hyunwoo hates Shownu’s guts.

Envies him.

Because Shownu is happy, until Hyunwoo goes back to where he came from.

And if you asked him if he wants to live as Shownu until he dies.

He’d say definitely.

Yes.

Maybe.

No.

 

Because he is nothing but a prisoner in his own life. And people like him will always go back to what is familiar.

He smiles.

And smiles.

And smiles.

 

Because his smile is an answer to questions he can’t give an actual answer to.

_Just smile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE* FORGET ME NOTS means among other things true and undying love. A connection that lasts through time. Fidelity and loyalty in a relationship, despite separation or other challenges. Reminders of your favorite memories or time together with another person. Growing affection between two people.
> 
> i took on such a challenge with this one i love death and dying ~~ (SPOILER ALERT!!!! anyone who knows my writing about Shwoki, knows that i always give them a happy end)


	3. Chapter 3

Kihyun woke up to a sound of someone walking around in his kitchen. Has someone found him, his hiding place. The timing seemed awfully weird, considering he just last night killed someone.

He took the gun under his pillow. He always slept with it. Always on the guard, an assassin with more blood on his hands can never allow himself to lower their defenses. Never.

He maneuvered his way around the rooms, from the bedroom to the kitchen, knowing exactly where to step as to not make any sounds. This is an old creaky house, and the wood shrieks when you stand on a certain spot.

He was nearing the kitchen, his hand on the trigger, ready to shoot whoever the fuck it is who dared to enter. They had it coming anyways. They had to be suicidal as fuck to enter a place they had no business being in.

Kihyun caught a glimpse of the person and relaxed, because it was someone he kind of knew anyways.

He kicked the door open with a bang.

’What the fuck are you doing here I.M’’ Kihyun yelled.

‘’Please, we are not on a mission, it’s Changkyun.’’ The boy, yes a boy, grinned at Kihyun. Eating something that resembled a sandwich but one can never be sure, because it looked fucking horrendous. Somehow the kitchen was also a god damn mess. As if making a sandwich was like rebuilding an entire room. But that’s just I.M wanting to piss off Kihyun.

‘’My mistake.’’ Kihyun said before asking again. ‘’What the fuck do you want Changkyun?’’ His voice dripping bitterness.

It was such a rare thing for I.M to come to the woods. Unless…

‘’Do you know something.’’ Kihyun asked. It was a usual thing for the boss to send Changkyun as a messenger.

Don’t shoot the messenger is a nice sentence and all, but Kihyun always killed them when what he was delivered wasn’t what he wanted to hear. The only reason the boss never did anything about Kihyun and his need to kill everyone he ever sent, was because Kihyun was number 1.

I.M being the only one who has lived through delivering the bad news.

Kihyun had a soft spot for him. He was after all younger, practically a teenager, still in training, but rising quickly in the ranks. Almost as cold and calculative as Kihyun, but still he had that childlike left in him.

‘’Mmm, you know me so well Kihyun’’ I.M purred and jumped down from the table he was sitting on.

‘’Boss was not real happy about you killing the guard of Son Hyunwoo. I mean he doesn’t care, but he was a link to getting near him. And you killing him kind of compromised it. We have the names of people around Son family, how they all look like, but we have no god damn clue who the person himself is. Shin Hoseok was the closest we have gotten in months.’’ I.M explained as he was looking for something from his backpack.

‘’Of course he’d send you to tell me that he is unsatisfied with my work, I already have killed enough of his men, I guess he can’t afford to lose more.’’ Kihyun grumbled, god his boss was a fucking coward, could he come down himself and tell that to Kihyun. The man is working behind the stage, hidden, moving everyone around like chess pieces.

‘’You don’t trust me do you?’’ I.M asked out of nowhere. ‘’I’ve snooped around your journal. My name is on your list of people to kill. You think I’m somehow connected with the Son’s. I would be hurt about it, but you are on my list as well.’’ I.M mentioned in passing.

In this line of work, you only have yourself. And even the people you work with could also work against you.

‘’He wasn’t going to tell anything anyways. No use of keeping around a toy that won’t play by my needs.’’ Kihyun dismissively moved his hands. Did he say that about Hoseok or I.M. Probably both.

I.M was sipping on a straw from his juice box. ‘’Yea, well.’’ he took one more sip and finished it all, crumbled the box in his hands and threw it across the kitchen into the garbage can.

‘’Are you done? Can you leave before you turn this place upside down. You already fucked up the kitchen.’’

‘’You are such a damn grumpy old man. You know what you need?’’ I.M ran away from Kihyun, who was honestly looking murderous, but he wouldn’t hurt him, at least not much.

‘’A good lay, a fuck, a one night stand, some action.’’

‘’I am not going to listen to some 16 year old tell me I’m sexually frustrated, fuck off, go home.’’

‘’Go out, find a man, a woman. Someone to give you a good rub, and then you re all good to go.’’

‘’Leave.’’ Kihyun’s voice dropped awfully low, it was a sign for I.M to leave. He really has outdone himself now.

‘’You could pretend you are a fucking human for two seconds Kihyun. These people don’t know nor need to know who you are and what you do.’’

‘’I swear to god if you are not out of my house in 10 seconds your ass is grass and boss will be back to sending lots of his other minions into certain death to deliver news.’’

‘’Oh so you do care about lil ol’ me.’’ I.M clutched his heart, smiling widely, it was fucking creepy.

‘’Trust me I.M, I really don’t, you could drop dead and I wouldn’t even flinch. Hell, if someone tried to kill you I’d probably offer my help to the person.’’

‘’Love you too Kihyun. I’m going now.’’ I.M walked to the door, but was stopped by Kihyun putting a hand on his shoulder, before he could leave out the door.

‘’Have you eaten?’’ To untrained ears and someone who can’t read people, Kihyun sounded and looked cold, but I.M saw it, saw the little bit of humanity still lingering in Kihyun.

‘’No.’’ the younger one answered.

‘’I’ll make something real quick.’’ He said and picked up things to make a quick but fulfilling breakfast.

Those moments were so rare and so pure, it was easy to forget what kind of life they actually led.

They ate in silence and I.M finally left.

‘’Be careful Changkyun.’’ Kihyun told him before the boy disappeared into the woods.

 

**

‘’No, no, no…’’ Kihyun was looking for a perfect club to go to. I.M was right, he really needed some release every now and then.

Every club he stepped into was disgusting and full of gross people. He was beginning to give up, go home and masturbate and call it a day. Much faster and at least he knows where he puts his dick. You never know with a stranger.

He decided to go to one more, the furthest away from the city, the poorest part of the place. Fitting for a broken person like him.

Surprisingly the place looked okay. Much like his own home, disguised as an abandoned ugly piece of shit, but once you went in, it was a different world.

This club was much calmer compared to the popular ones he went to before.

He sat down behind a counter, ordered a drink, watching it being made with his hawk eyes. Nothing will slip by him.

‘’Hey I have never seen you around here, you new?’’ A guy with blindingly white hair asked. He was handsome, Kihyun had to admit that. But he looked awfully familiar.

‘’I’m just visiting.’’ Kihyun took a sip from his drink, it tasted awful, but you get what you pay for.

‘’You are really handsome you know that.’’ The guy winked. ‘’I’m Minhyuk.’’ He offered his hand. Kihyun was reluctant to take it, he really doesn’t want to touch people let alone let others touch him, so him being in a night club looking for a one night stand is fucking ironic.

Minhyuk…. Minhyuk… White hair… Minhyuk.. Lee Minhyuk. Could he be the financial manager of the Son household. What the fuck is he doing in this place.

‘’I’m Kihyun.’’ He needed to confirm this. Kihyun always gave his real name, it was such an average name anyways.

‘’What a pretty name for a pretty person.’’ Minhyuk grinned, and honestly it was a little bit infectious. Kihyun hated himself that it affected him.

‘’Wanna dance?’’ the guy asked, standing up from the chair behind the bar counter. Indicating that Kihyun should follow him.

Kihyun gulped down the remaining from his glass and followed Minhyuk through the crowd.

‘’So, Minhyuk, what do you do for living?’’ Kihyun was grinding against Minhyuk, making the other weak form the knees. A technique to lower the other person’s guard, to get the answers he needs.

‘’Mmm, I manage money.’’ Minhyuk whimpered when Kihyun was being extremely close.

‘’Tell me more’’ Kihyun’s voice was like honey dripping. ‘’I work for the powerful Son.’’ The way Minhyuk said it like he was proud of it, was honestly gross. People like him scammed the poor out of everything to give the rich who already have everything.

And this opinion comes from someone who kills for living.

At least Kihyun confirmed that this was the Minhyuk he was looking for, it wasn’t on his schedule for today, but hey, this was way easier than he thought.

‘’What can you tell me about the successor of the family?’’ Kihyun whispered seductively, biting his ear gently.

‘’I,’’ Minhyuk was growing excited, ‘’I don’t know, I never met the guy. No one really has.’’

This was not the answer Kihyun wanted to hear. He stopped dancing and entertaining the man.

Either he is lying or he is just thinking with his dick right now.

Kihyun was looking around the dance room because he was mad at Minhyuk for disappointing him, when he spotted a really well built guy in one corner. Kihyun was actually hypnotized by the way the man was dancing. He was shirtless so you could see the toned tanned body glisten with sweat under the lights.

‘’Who’s he?’’ Kihyun asked from Minhyuk, pointing at the perfection.

‘’Damn, I hoped you wouldn’t spot him, everyone’s lusting after him. Even me.’’ Minhyuk laughed. ‘’Shownu, he dances here every Friday and Saturday.’’ He said.

Kihyun nodded in acknowledgment. If he was going to get fucked by someone, he wanted that man with the body of a Greek god to pound him through the damn bed into the next century.

But when he turned his eyes back to where the man was, he was gone.

Oh well, maybe next time. Now he has a reason to come back.

‘’So, Minhyuk.’’ Kihyun in need of more information, and it seemed he wasn’t going to get any, in this environment, he needed to get out of the place.

‘’Wanna continue this somewhere more private?’’ Kihyun asked.

Minhyuk nodded.

They went to the motel, Kihyun was staying at.

He really didn’t wanna kiss Minhyuk, but what else did he have left. He pushed the taller one on the cheap motel bed, that creaked loudly at the sudden weight.

Kihyun sneakily tied Minhyuk’s hands to the head of the bed, too tightly. But Minhyuk brushed it off, he was into some kinky shit anyways.

For a moment, it seemed like Kihyun was straddling Minhyuk, up until Kihyun’s face turned cold. Nothing left of the person he pretended to be in the club. The sweet flirty smile was wiped off.

‘’What?’’ Minhyuk’s voice wavered, he knew something was up, something bad.

‘’So,’’ Kihyun pulled out a blade behind him, that was strapped to his back. ‘’Let’s have a little friendly chat, Lee Minhyuk.’’ Kihyun stressed every word, all the while glaring into Minhyuk’s eyes.

Minhyuk wanted to say something, but as soon he opened his mouth, Kihyun put a hand over his. Shaking a finger in front of him. ‘’You answer when I ask a question, nothing else.’’

Minhyuk only nodded, maybe if he cooperates, he will get out alive.

‘’Son Hyunwoo.’’ Kihyun said his name and Minhyuk’s eyes went wide. It’s like he knew one day he was going to land himself in trouble just because he works for the Son family, and well, there he is.

‘’Where can I find him?’’ Kihyun asked, taking his hand off Minhyuk’s mouth, as a sign for him to start talking.

‘’I… I.’’ Minhyuk was trying to form a sentence, but he was under Kihyun’s intense stare. He knows he can’t say that he doesn’t know.

Kihyun let out a sigh. ‘’Didn’t I tell you to fucking answer.’’ Kihyun stabbed the knife into the bed frame only a millimeter away from Minhyuk’s head.

‘’I don’t know, no one really knows how he looks like, or knows who he is. I hear from others that the guy we see is not even the real Hyunwoo, or if he is, he is disguised.’’

Kihyun didn’t expect that. He was actually a little surprised, this was the most information he has acquired so far.

Interesting stuff as well.

Meaning he has had the wrong vision of how the guy looks like.

Man, the people he works for are all so fucking useless.

‘’You manage their money. Where does he go the most?’’

Kihyun pulled the knife from the bed frame and leaned over Minhyuk, his eyes piercing.

‘’I don’t have that kind of information. I only have numbers, amounts.’’ Minhyuk was shivering, why does he have to be in this situation, he is practically a nobody.

Kihyun groaned at that. ‘’And here I thought we had come to an understanding.’’ He slide the knife down Minhyuk’s collarbone, leaving a curvy red line behind it, as blood droplets formed on the wound.

It wasn’t deep, but it stung.

This was boring. It was boring Kihyun. It wasn’t satisfying enough.

He made another cut on Minhyuk’s left arm.

‘’Money. Money goes missing every month, it’s not much, so I never mentioned it to anyone, I always assumed it might be the successor who deposits just enough but never too much to fly safe under the radar. Even if I did have info where money is being used by cards, I wouldn’t know because he uses cash. Minhyuk blabbered. He was ready to fucking give everything, just so he’d get out of this alive.

‘’Hm.’’ Kihyun hummed, but didn’t stop creating little cuts everywhere.

‘’What more do you want from me?’’ Minhyuk screamed.

‘’Shut the fuck up oh my god, why do you all always whine so much. It’s giving me a headache.’’

‘’Why are you doing this?’’

‘’ _Why are you doing this_ , ‘’Kihyun mimicked Minhyuk, ‘’what are you, my therapist?’’ He snapped, but then he started laughing, god he felt so kiddy.

It never occurred to Minhyuk to just yell at the top of his lungs, they are in a motel for fuck’s sake, there are bound to be people who will hear his screams.

It was all just too fucking funny how clueless this guy is.

He untied Minhyuk’s hands.

‘’You can go.’’

Minhyuk dashed to the door.

‘’To hell.’’ Kihyun said and threw the knife into his neck.

Minhyuk fell to the floor, and the blood was flowing out fast.

‘’Ugh, I forgot I need to clean this shit up.’’ Kihyun looked at the scene like it offended him somehow.

He got Minhyuk’s body into the back of his car with no incidents, no one caught him. This place really is a dump, and the people really only care about themselves. You could probably kill someone right under their nose and they wouldn’t give a fuck.

He scrubbed the blood off the floor, just enough for it to not look like a murder scene. This place barely held together anyways.

It was midnight so he didn’t have a chance to go and buy flowers from his regular flower shop.

‘’Ah, that was a rash decision.’’ He came out to relieve some stress, but here is now. He might as well go back to the club, maybe he will find the mysterious dancer.

He stepped out of his car again, leaving the body to rot in the trunk.

 

He didn’t find the handsome man, so he settled for some random guy who gave a decent head in the bathroom and left. Feeling even more frustrated than before, his mind still going back to the shirtless guy. His arms looked illegally delicious…

Kihyun stood in one of the bathroom cabins, imaging all the things he wanted the guy, whose face he didn’t even see, do to him.

The guy from earlier didn’t satisfy him enough, so there he stood with a hard on that needed to be taken care of.

This was the lowest Kihyun has been in forever.

Kihyun didn’t know then, but seeing the man had started a chain reaction that was going to determine everything of him and who he is.

 

Kihyun was back to his own personal graveyard, dumping Minhyuk’s body into a hole next to Hoseok’s grave.

‘’I’m sorry Minhyuk. I’m sorry it had to end like this that.’’ Kihyun said to no one, and whether he meant what he said or not, even Kihyun himself doesn’t have an answer.

He looked at the body of Minhyuk, the face devoid of everything. Kihyun jumped into the grave, he made Minhyuk smile permanently.

Kihyun didn’t spend much time with the man, but he really had a beautiful smile and it would have been a crime if he didn’t have it on him all the time.

‘’I’ll make the grave beautiful like you, but you must wait until tomorrow. I hope you like Hyacinths.’’

He scribbled out Minhyuk’s name, but it didn’t sit right with him. Something kept bothering him about this. And it was the fact that he gave him the information so easily. This was the first time he felt bad about killing someone, maybe because he didn’t have to drag out the info, he got it the moment he asked, it was all so easy. He didn’t get to play games with the victim, didn’t get to torture much and therefore there was lack of reactions as well.

 

_~~Shin Hoseok~~ _

_~~Lee Minhyuk~~ _

_Chae Hyungwon_

_Lee Jooheon_

_Lim Changkyun – questionable_

_Target: Son Hyunwoo_

 

He didn’t feel like his usual self today.

It didn’t feel right.

 

He turned the page.

The words he has been spoon fed since he was a child, were written in blood red.

 

_JUST FUCKING SMILE KIHYUN._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE* PURPLE HYACINTH is the flower most commonly used to symbolize regret. A bouquet of purple hyacinth expresses the bearer's sadness over a situation and asks for forgiveness.
> 
>  
> 
> yo~ its me a mess. kihyun ya fucker havent even seen shownu that much and is already thirsty, dear lord why is u like that.  
> i want them to already meet omg


	4. Chapter 4

Hyunwoo woke up to the sounds of the sirens going off in the distance. This is normal occurrence here, In the outer skirts of the city. If the sirens don’t blast every 10 seconds then something’s wrong.

People in the upper part of the town always talk about this place with obvious disgust. They never considered people who lived here, people. And they didn’t even feel bad or guilty about it either. In their minds, everyone who lived like that, had it coming, it was their own fault, they aren’t trying hard enough and so on.

Some went as far as to even say that they should be killed, there is no need to waste space.

But to Hyunwoo, everyone he met on the days he escaped from his life, they were more human than the people he grew up around with. Honestly, Hyunwoo thought he grew up around monsters.

‘’Shownu!!’’ Someone was yelling at his door and knocking, or slamming like a god damn lunatic.

‘’Coming, coming.’’ Hyunwoo shouted, making his way slowly to the door. His steps were slow but steady, for someone who was just woken up from a deep sleep, Hyunwoo looked pretty okay.

But he was cursing the person into hell and back. And then back to hell again.

‘’Took you long enough dude.’’

‘’Jooheon, what the hell?’’ Hyunwoo was swearing and looking at the time. ‘’It’s fucking 4 in the morning.’’ He was obviously irritated, and he wasn’t going to hide it. This is why he comes here. So he doesn’t have to hide his emotions. Even if they are limited to the main few.

Jooheon might be the only close friend he made, but he is a nuance of a neighbor.

‘’Aren’t you a little young to be going around at an hour like this?’’

‘’Who are you, my fucking father?’’

‘’I don’t beat you like he does. Take another guess.’’ That shut Jooheon up.

Hyunwoo isn’t going to lie, Shownu is a bit more of a character than he likes to admit. The fact that he can’t fight back to his parents really shines through when he is interacting with some people. So he picks quarrels with others.

Jooheon being one of them. Mostly him. He riles up easily.

He doesn’t hate him, he actually really cares for the younger a lot. Except right now when he was woken up from his sleep, and he rarely gets enough rest as it is.

It finally occurred to Hyunwoo to turn on the lights. ‘’So what do you want Joo….’’ The moment he turned the lights on, Hyunwoo stopped breathing and ran towards Jooheon.

He looked fucked up.

‘’What happened, was it your father?’’ Concern took over, his irritation and anger long forgotten. Hyunwoo got out his first aid kit he kept in the cupboard in the living room. He told Jooheon to sit on the couch and started to work on his wounds.

Blood was soaking through his white shirt, making it crimson red. It was making Hyunwoo so angry, full of rage. How could parents do this to their own child. How can they fucking treat them less than a human. What the fuck is wrong with people, with the world?

Let’s be real, people know when shit like this happens, but everyone turns a blind eye, saying it’s not their problem, that they can’t do anything.

Bullshit really. No one just doesn’t want to bother. But when things end up the worst way then suddenly every acts like they gave a fuck.

Hyunwoo witnessed that with one of his classmates. The boy was constantly being bullied, abused. Everyone knew. People saw the marks. But they ignored it, if you ignore it it doesn’t exist right? And when he went and killed himself, slitting his wrists in the bathtub filled with warm water. The bloody river overflowing from the tub that was discovered few days later. Everyone faked symphathy, lying through their teeth and then went home forgetting this ever happened. And then when another incident like that happened, the same pattern follows, over and over.

Honestly, despite the shit Jooheon goes through, he was still smiling his fucking dimple smile, like he had won a lotto just now. And it almost pissed Hyunwoo off.

Every now and then Jooheon was flinching when Hyunwoo was using alcohol to clean up the cuts.

At least the wounds weren’t that bad, when he was done cleaning them up, it was just the insane amount of blood that made it look like he was dying.

It is actually sad that this wasn’t the first nor will it be the last time for Hyunwoo to patch up this kid.

‘’Thanks man.’’ Jooheon touched one of the bandages on his arm, feeling the pattern under his fingers, pressing on the spot where the wound was. The pain made him laugh. Because he could still feel it.

‘’You are like my dad Shownu, if my dad was nice and kind and didn’t beat the living fuck out of me every time he came home drunk. Nowadays he does that when he is sober as well. So double the beating I guess. I don’t care.’’ Jooheon told Hyunwoo.

Despite his intimidating looks, Jooheon was really gentle. Shownu learned that really quick, that Jooheon also hides behind a façade. That’s why he is so protective of him.

But it pisses him off to no end that he can do absolutely nothing to help besides fix the wounds that Jooheon allows, keep him fed when he is hungry and lend a sleeping place so he can rest.

As Shownu he is useless. And as Hyunwoo, he needs help himself.

He was stuck.

‘’You’ll stay here for the night.’’ Hyunwoo said, but it was more like an order anyways.

And it’s not like Jooheon was itching to go back to that shit anyways.

‘’Thanks.’’ Jooheon patted Hyunwoo on the shoulder, before making his way to one of the boxes in the corner of the room where Hyunwoo keeps extra pillows and blankets, specifically for Jooheon.

‘’Night. But if you wake me up again I’ll kick your ass out.’’ Hyunwoo said, but it was playful if anything. He wouldn’t really do that.

‘’Yea yea.’’ Jooheon mumbled before pulling the covers up to his chin and drifting off to slumber.

The next morning, when Hyunwoo got to the living room, Jooheon was already gone. Like always.

 

 

 

Hyunwoo was strolling around the area again. He does that often, it helps to put things in perspective.

His favourite place was the abandoned park where he went after a particularly shitty day. Like today.

The empty water fountain, where weeds were growing out. The broken and rotten benches with graffiti on them, mostly just cursing words and someone’s poor attempts at drawing dicks.

He both loves and hates this place, this part of the city. He likes that no one really knows him, but then again no one _knows_ him.

It’s so lonely.

Jooheon aside, he was lonely.

He thought that growing up in the household he did, with negligence and hatred should have made him numb, but it didn’t.

Fucking abusers can’t even do one thing right. Life would have been much easier if they killed his emotions like they did with his childhood and youth. He never had either.

He was filled with sudden surge of anger, that he stepped into an alley off the street and punched the wall with all the strength he had.

He heard his bones crack, and instead of being concerned and thinking of how to fix this, he just watched the bloody mark he left on the wall. There were four circular marks from his knuckles.

The blood dripping from his hand on the ground really was a sight.

Hyunwoo was honestly just mesmerized and frozen by it. It kept dripping, he could feel how the blood was sliding down as thin threads.

A reminder that if he bleeds, he is still human.

He was taken out of his train of thought, when he heard someone cough not far away from him.

 

Not far away next to the dumpster there was a small man, well small compared to him.

He wore a hoodie over his head, but Hyunwoo did see the face.

Hyunwoo thought he looked attractive. Surely a handsome face. With sharp features.

But what was weird, was how he was holding himself, he had obviously fought with someone.

And lost.

The man coughed again, and this time he opened his eyes.

The moment he opened his eyes, he was alert and on the defense. He pulled the gun out at the speed of light.

‘’I’m not going to hurt you. Put down the gun.’’ Hyunwoo was walking around the injured man, every step was calculated. One false move and he will get a bullet right in between his eyes. Not that he would mind really. But he wants to know this guy’s deal.

‘’Stay away, I’ll fucking shoot you.’’ The man threatened. Eyes were glowing with fury, holding a gun in his right arm, and pressing on his open wound with the other. But it was obviously causing more harm to him.

If it won’t be cleaned and patched up soon, it’ll get infected.

‘’You are going to bleed to death, let me help you and then you can decide later if you want to kill me or not? Okay?’’ he asked. Raising his eyebrow in question, why is this guy so keen on not accepting the help, when he is the one with the means to kill Hyunwoo.

‘’Why do you want to help me? What’s wrong with you?’’ Kihyun was glaring daggers. Wow this guy was insane, trying to approach him. Did he really have a death wish.

‘’I just don’t like seeing people in pain. There is a story to your situation and I want to know. So how about it? Do we have a deal?’’

‘’Khhh… Fine, but only because I still have things I need to do and I’m not planning on dying on some sewer smelling alley. It’s disgusting, how do you people live here. Gross.’’ He scrunched up his nose as if the smell offended him. ‘’So get on with it.’’ He ordered Hyunwoo.

‘’You don’t think I go around carrying a first aid kit with me.’’

‘’What the fuck man?’’ Kihyun was honestly in disbelief, what is this guy’s plan.

‘’I live few buildings down; do you think you can hold on until or will you let me carry you to my place and you can clean up and rest.’’

‘’You are fucking weird you know that.’’

Hyunwoo tried to get closer to the guy, initiating that he can lean on him so they can get to his place.

‘’Fuck off. I can walk on my own just fine.’’ Kihyun tried to stand up but stumbled. Before he could reach the ground, Hyunwoo had already caught him.

Hyunwoo carefully wrapped his arm around Kihyun to get moving.

Kihyun mumbled something under his breath, probably cursing Hyunwoo, and himself and the situation.

‘’What’s your name?’’ Kihyun finally asked, just in case the ‘’nice’’ man was going to pull some shit. They always do. There are no kind people who do good things just because. He learned that the hard way from early age.

‘’Shownu.’’ The man answered after a small thinking pause. ‘’Yours? It’s only fair.’’

‘’Kihyun.’’

‘’Nice to meet you Kihyun. Now let’s get you fixed up.’’

 

 

The first thing Kihyun said when he got to Hyunwoo’s place was truly just the best thing he had heard all day.

‘’I’ll clean this place if you fix me up.’’ Kihyun said, as his eyes darted around the apartment.

It’s not like the place was that bad? Right? Hyunwoo did clean this place from time to time.

‘’Seriously what the fuck is it with you people and not cleaning up after yourselves. For fuck sakes this is pissing me off and I don’t even fucking know you less much live here.’’ Kihyun was rambling, but for a good reason. Damn, the amount of times he has scolded Changkyun for fucking up his house.

But not just him, he just can’t stand when the places are messy. In all honesty, it all boils down to control. He can’t control many things in his life, but he can do that, he can keep things clean.

‘’Hey you what’s your name, are you going to let me bleed to death or what?’’ Kihyun stared at Hyunwoo.

There was something about him that intrigued Kihyun.

The fact that he couldn’t tell what the he was thinking was both exhilarating and infuriating.

Kihyun doesn’t like it when he doesn’t know things.

‘’Shownu.’’ Hyunwoo said.

‘’Yea whatever,’’ Kihyun waved his gun around, ‘’get the fuck on with this.’’ He gestured at his wounds that were looking worse than before.

Kihyun was calm. Or calmer than usual.

This guy was weird, and making him feel unlike himself, just like the man in the club who for a split second made his head quiet.

He noticed a vase on the table that was full of windflowers.

Interesting. Does he know what they mean or he just likes them because of how they look.

‘’You are the second person I’m patching up today. I should consider becoming a doctor.’’ Hyunwoo smiled at what he himself said.

It would be nice, to heal people, fix them up.

Kihyun grunted at that. Great, he is one of those good people. He probably gets screwed over every other day, easy to fool kind of person.

As Hyunwoo was working intensely at Kihyun’s wounds, he finally had a chance to really look at the guy.

He had a nice face. Soft yet clean features. His lips were plump and red, contrasting his tanned skin.

‘’You are handsome.’’ Kihyun said, he had no problem commenting how people looked. If they were good looking, man, woman? He said what he was thinking.

‘’Uh,’’ Hyunwoo stopped what he was doing for a second before continuing, ‘’thanks? You too.’’

‘’I know I am.’’ Kihyun responded, grinning proudly. He sure as fuck knows he has the looks. That’s like 50% reason he is on this line of work. The other 50 are his amazing skills.

People trust those who are pleasing to the eye. They trust beauty above everything else.

And Kihyun almost would have fallen a victim for Hyunwoo’s looks. But the fact that he still doesn’t know what his deal is, is what saved him for now.

‘’Done.’’ Hyunwoo said.

‘’Ok I might not kill you, I’ll go now. If I turn my back you better not do anything or…’’

‘’Or what? If I killed you, it’s not like you can do anything about it.’’ Hyunwoo finished the sentence.

He saw the fury in Kihyun’s eyes again. He obviously didn’t like being cut off.

‘’I won’t do anything, I can tell by looking at you, that when I take one step towards you, you have already planned 10 different ways to kill me before I even breathe out.’’ Hyunwoo shrugged. He feels like he is flirting with death itself at this point.

What does he have to loose though.

Here is a beautiful man, who may or may not kill him. What a way to go.

The gun that was pointed at Hyunwoo was being lowered.

‘’I’ll come back just to make sure that you are alive for me to kill you. I’m just not feeling like doing it today. I’d rather you live in constant fear of _oh will today be my last. Oh will that good looking Kihyun come today and kill me?_ And before you know it you’ll commit suicide before I can get my hands on you.’’ Kihyun was smirking at that idea. It’s been too long since the last time someone went and killed themselves.

Sometimes it’s really tiring to be the one who does the killing. He has to clean up the mess.

‘’Sounds like a promise if you ask me. Well, my door is open for you any time. Feel free to visit.’’ Hyunwoo went to the kitchen. ‘’Do you want some tea or coffee before you go?’’

‘’Here I am admitting I kill people and you are so casual about it. And I drink coffee’’ Kihyun was actually impressed.

‘’My emotional range is not letting me care much. With some sugar sugar?’’

‘’You really have a death wish. No sugar thanks.’’

‘’I just might. Here you go.’’ Hyunwoo handed Kihyun a cup of coffee.

There was a deadly silence for about two seconds before both of them started laughing.

This was fucking ridiculous. The whole scene, the dialogue between them. It’s like they forgot who they are and what their life is like.

This sounded like a banter between high school friends, not between an assassin who was about to die few minutes ago, and a throwaway son from an abusive family.

Slowly the laughter died down, but there was less tension.

‘’You might want to change the change the flowers in your vase. Something nicer.’’ Kihyun suggested, he doesn’t feel like the windflowers are doing justice to this man.

‘’How about you bring me some when you come again.’’ Hyunwoo said casually, sitting down on the chair.

Kihyun clicked his tongue, really, this guy!

‘’Don’t let anyone else kill you until then. That’s my job.’’ Kihyun shrugged.

‘’I’ll try my hardest. Bye Kihyun.’’

Kihyun said nothing and walked out. When he closed the front door behind him.

He had the urge to go back already. Back to this stupid situation with that guy. Hand lingering on the door knob.

But then he pulled his hands away as if it burned.

‘’Fuck.’’ Kihyun cursed.

He doesn’t like this. He doesn’t like the way this guy makes him feel. He spent few minutes with him and his walls are wavering.

Kihyun pulled out his journal. He had a mission, he can’t stray from this mission.

He has been slacking off too much already. And the guy who managed to make him end up in that situation? That was something that has never happened. And shouldn’t have happened. This mission wasn’t even his. He was told to help this one trainee.

But the whole thing had been fishy since the beginning.

It was almost like a mission to either kill Kihyun, or it was supposed to motivate him to work faster on his job.

 

_~~Shin Hoseok~~ _

_~~Lee Minhyuk~~ _

_Chae Hyungwon_

_Lee Jooheon_

_Lim Changkyun – questionable_

_Target: Son Hyunwoo_

 

This page has stayed unchanged for far too long than Kihyun likes to admit.

He is slacking off, he knows it. Something is off. Something is wrong.

Why was it so easy to laugh with that guy? Shownu?

Why did he not want to leave? Why does he want to go back?

Why does he want to smile again, a real smile.

Why does he want to leave behind this life he has lived since birth?

Why is he wavering. Why was it so easy?

Why?

Why?

Why?

 

The phone vibrated in his pocket. A message.

 

_// I’m not satisfied with your work Yoo Kihyun //_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE* Anemone also called the 'Wind flower', has the positive meanings but it also symbolizes dying hope and is the embodiment of those who are forsaken. 
> 
> yoo~~ i m still alive, at what cost tho, but alive, what s up ? no i havent forgotten my ongoings, i just forget who i am,,
> 
> so apparently Changkyun is Kihyun's ''son'' and Jooheon is Shownu's. nice, don't get attatched just in case.
> 
> ayoo they met, under shitty circumstances but like this whole fic is a shitty circumstance rly.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE* CARNATION (YELLOW) - Color: Pale yellow or bold yellow, these carnations have a negative meaning. Whether it's rejection, distain or even contempt that you're feeling, yellow carnations are your go to flower for sending a message of disappointment to someone. ( no wonder Luda, whom i just googled the names of WSJN members and was like yeah this will do, but like such a small appearance i wasnt gon tag, unless i might bring her in again, who knows i also dont know wsjn except that they are in starship ) 
> 
> Also, if u wonder why 8 flowers specifically, it’s because of how many letters in his name (the Hangeul version) 
> 
> I'm starting this as a way to cope with the fact that I signed a death certificate for a job in hell ( in a local shop) ( because everyone hates the owner and no one really wants to work there as long as she s in the position of power, but me and my friend are thirsty for some money earning during summer, so pray for my soul i gotta suffer for monsta x lmao) 
> 
> jfc stop my ramblings ?? i talk TOO MUCH.


End file.
